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Route 23
by Fdemetrio - 05/11/24 10:36 AM
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A little song I wrote for my wife. Trying to get it tweaked and ready before her birthday on the 18th of this month. To me the bridge vocals could be turned up a notch and maybe the drum track could be turned down a tad in spots. Any thoughts or suggestions??? Love You More (C) 2007 Bill Cooper/Kaley Willow http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=32899V-1 I'm soaring like an eagle And baby you're the breeze As long as we're together I can fly Sailing through the heavens High above the trees Blessed by the angels You and I Chorus I love you more Than an eagle loves to fly Love you more every day that passes by Used to love you heart and soul Right down to the core Darling that was yesterday now...I love you......more V-2 Racing through the mountains Winding 'cross the plain On a one way journey To the sea If my life was a river You would be the rain Every drop of you A part of me Chorus I love you more than a river loves the rain Love you more Than I ever could explain Used to love you heart and soul right down to the core. Darling that was yesterday now I love you more. bridge When the sun sets on the delta Where the river joins the bay I'll ride the tide past old memories As I hold you close.........and say Chorus I've loved you more than the river loved the rain Loved you more Than I ever could explain Once I loved you heart and soul right down to the core. Darling that was yesterday now I love you more.
Last edited by LostNTexas; 08/03/07 10:32 PM.
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Hi Bill and Kaley I'm listening and it sounds very beautiful....love that little run down the scale Kaley...I'll have to return, when I have a bit more time for another listen. But it sounds very nice... jm
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Hi Bill and Kaley,
This is the most beautiful song I've heard in a long time. The performance is slighly understated, in a good way, and lets the lyric do the talking.
This could be a hit, imo, in any era: past, present, or future--it has a timeless quality to it, as the best love ballads usually do.
Yes, the vocals could be a little louder in the bridge, or "percieved loudness" with stronger compression settings--but it's all a matter of taste, really.
Bill, your wife's gonna love it; Kaley great job with the music!
Mike
Last edited by closemike; 08/02/07 03:52 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Hi Kaley and Bill
Lovely melody, very well put together, super cool romantic lyrics, great, great, great song, though I hesitate to add, I'm not sure I would rank it among the all time classics, Moon River", "I Left My Heart In Sanfrancisco" "The Twelfth Of Never" etc. More in line with a sweet melody that is the making of a "Whitney Houston" ballad, and there's gold in them thar hills!
rittman
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Wow, you mean that Kaley person I used to write with, did that melody?. Well, she always was, lemme see, "determinded" I think the word was. Well, I, I say "I" got a keyboard. I want you to tell me how to play it Kaley. Just a couple short paragraphs. I don't wanta' take too long to learn to play. I'm gettin' older every day ya' know. I don't find much to nit. Seems like the words and melody are "married" together well. Good job to both of you wy
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Wow! A couple things:
1. Where's my kleenex? 2. Can you hear me clapping? 3. I remember this when just a lyric was posted. 4. I think you should print your copyright symbol at top w/both your full names at top of page for safe keeping and reference. 5. Who did demo (studio and name of vocalist?) 6. I agree with closemike about this having a "timeless quality". 7. Kaley you impressed me once again! 8. In your 1st chorus, 2nd line, you need to change the print from "than an eagle loves the sky" to "than an eagle loves to fly" since that is how it's in the sing. 9. Your last line of each chorus where you have the word "now" could also be sung "today" and work as well if not better. 10. Okay now I'm going to listen another time and fall in love all over again.
Best, Lynn
Last edited by Lynn Orloff; 08/03/07 12:28 AM.
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Forgot the most important suggestion.... PITCH IT, PITCH IT, PITCH IT!
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Now on the 3rd listen and focusing on details:
He's singing "I loved you more" in the final chorus so you might want to add a "d" there, and he's sings "once I loved you heart and soul" in the final chorus and you have printed "used to love you heart and soul, so maybe fix those two areas of print. No big deal just looking at some details so when you pitch and enclose a lyric sheet it will all match for you.
If I understand correctly Bill, maybe your wife hasn't heard the final version since this is for a birthday present (perhaps surprise) but whatever the case, it will be her best birthday present ever!!!!!!
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Bill+Kaley
Nice Write, Ofcourse i can't hear it, but you know i sing along. Haven't seen much from either of you in a little while. i have missed you around the board. I think that a song as beautiful as this makes a fine birthday present. y'all don't be strangers alright?
-steve
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wow.............very impressive, hat's off to everyone involved. I also remember reading this. Here's my favorite part...very emotional If my life was a river You would be the rain Every drop of you A part of me Keep up the good work. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Mornin’ J.M. Thanks for the listen, happy you like Bill
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Hi Mike, Thanks for the listen and kind words Bill
Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.
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Hi Ritt, Thanks for the great review Bill
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Dear Bill...Thanks for posting...Hi Y'all!!!!...I'll be back.. as soon as I can...I'm just not super good at multi-tasking when it comes.....Helping out with extended family members..and. tis the Last Summer with #1 (only Son) home before College..ya know...Life. I'm as busy as ever..and writing as much as ever..and trying to keep up. Have several songs to get posted..That is..if I don't get shot first. ....Sorry Grahammy, (I promise I'll get The Reason posted.......I got sidetracked...you can shoot me...if you want to...(But you may have to stand in line...Wy may want to shoot me first It does feel good to be useful and needed though... Dear Bill...I didn't do a music to lyrics check....yet....but scanned comments and see Lynn's picked up on some things....Words ok sung? thanks very much for posting .....I totally agree with assessment of volume../drum comment...etc....... Husband just stood up and said...is that the William Song??..then stopped what he was doing to listen...that doesn't happen too often... I think he liked it. Dear Joice Gal.. wells..I'm glad you liked this demo...Made me happy to see you drop by....!!.. thanks hon... Howdi!!! Mike ...Yowsa.....Thank you on all that.... Bill and I had an acoustic guitar/vocal version of this done first by Jason Brian Adams..which I really like..(such passion in his voice)....and then..we felt it could be nicely stepped up with this fuller band arrangement which was done by Magic Shack Demos...Thanks for the thoughts on volume etc..... We agree with ya I'm so hoping Bill's wife likes this too.!!... Thanks for noticing I've not been about...I will be back as soon as I can be..... Ohhh Ritt...Thank you sooo much. Glad you liked this..... I'm glad you mentioned about other types of singers...I think this could go different genres. Best to you and sweet Joyce. Howdi Dear BB... I would love to hear what you're cooking up on that keyboard.... You'll have to get SKYPE...and then I can listen.... hmmmmm...write it down in 2 or 3 paragraphs eh??.....I'm not 'xactly sure how I write or play ..myself...but I would try to summarize it for ya.. Well first you listen to the melodies you hear in your mind..and then you keep pounding on the keys till it sounds like something someone might like to listen to......how's that? Thanks B...pleases me to know you liked this...I dare say Bill and I worked on this for quite some time and am glad you like it....... Howdi Lynn Gal... Well thank you on the claps..and kleenex... Glad you liked this...We need to get back to the Demo Studio...and make suggestions on sound levels etc so thoughts are appreciated...and thanks for pointing out the lyrics...copyright etc.... Hey..and on the pitch it.., thank you.... It should have a beautfiul home when Bill presents it to his wife...but I'm hoping we can find a 2nd home for it too... Hi Steve!!!...What an incredibly beautiful Baby....When?..and What is the baby's name? Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful...... Hoping you are well over there...... Whoops..thank you on the song...too...!!!...(glad you liked) Hi Dear Cal... thank you my friend...Glad you liked this..and I agree that's my favorite part too... thanks Cal....hoping all is well with the grandbabies..... Bill, I will email you...We should get back to Jason at Magic Shack shortly I think... BIG HUGS and BIG THANKS to you all...... I owe and will remember and will follow through on big IOU's I owe ya all......with comments and critiques. H, kk Many Genres Here: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=8404Kids Music Here: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=6469Andy & Friends CD http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg
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Yep, I think I deserve first dibs on the shooting thing <G>.. Which reminds me, One of the winning lyrics in the A Songwriter lyric contest this time, (The one I'm going to win the guitar on to barter for homemade cookies), was called "Who Shot John Cyrus"--About the shooting some years ago, (Not that many),In N W, MO, at a small town called Skidmore. This guy had bullied and terrorized the town for years. took what women he wanted, Took whatever else he wanted And if you opposed him , they found your body way back in the woods. The local law couldn't do anything with him, (scared of him I think). Well one day there were a whole lotta' people in the town square when he came out of the local watering hole, a shot rang out and he never bullied anyone again. The federal and state cops came in, in force. "We'll soon solve this, Somebody knows something. They'll squeal when we put the pressure on them." You know, nobody saw nothin' , nobody heard nothin' , They never found the gun, though they had the bullet and they finally left town with their tail between their legs so to speak. Still a mystery to this day. "Who Shot John Cyrus" ('Scuse me Bill and Kaley, Got carried away. Wy
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The only kind of "shootin" gonna go on around here is you two shootin for the stars and makin' it! Going for my daily fix listen!
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Kaley,
Her Name is Victoria Grace Bixby. Born 10 July 2007 at 0930 Eastern standrd time. She weighed 6 pounds 14.5 ounces at birth. and has yet to make it back up to her birth weight. she is a sweetheart. Tricia Baker became an Auntie, and volunteered to take care of "miss cries alot" when Rachel was beyond being able to keep her sanity right after the birth. Of course i wasn't there.
have a good day -steve
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You had me shakin in my shoes....with that shooting me....B... I had to leave the board for a minute Well before you shoot me....would you listen to the new improved version...? ? and may I post flea market here soon?... Big Hugs to ya.. kk P.S.....in answer to Lyric board 1...yeah...Son sounded more up a bit ago...made me feel better...too. Love You More Revised Version...week/8/26 http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=8404Children's Music Here: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=6469 Wyman and Kaley's Andy & Friends CD Here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg
Last edited by Kaley Willow; 08/27/07 08:17 PM.
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I bet you can hardly wait....I pray you stay safe...Steve.... She is so beautiful....yeah, I know folks all say beautiful baby....but her little face is so pretty.....Victoria Grace is is precious. hugs... Kaley
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I'm curious to now if Bill gave this to his wife yet and her reaction?? It had to be wonderful!
Best and newsy, Lynn
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Hi Again Bill and Kaley Gotta say a return listen and I like this even more than the first time...I would agree with you Bill that the bridge can be tweeked up a notch and the only thing I'd take down on the percussion in the high hat/or tamborine meter beat....otherwise I think it is just right. Love it guys and gals.... jm
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"I'm soaring like an eagle And baby you're the breeze"
Isn't that just saying, "you are the wind beneath my wings"
"I love you more Than an eagle loves to fly"
I have a bit a problem with this because it is oblique. You have to translate the comparison and ask yourself, "How much does an Eagle like to fly" and even if the answer is "A lot", then you still have to get past the fact that you have compared how much you love someone with an action instead of a feeling or a thing. My wife likes to tease our kids with lines like, "I love you more than Cheerios" or "I love you more than dirt". They laugh because they know she is teasing. Of course you have heard the phrase, "I love you more than Life itself". It is a common phrase and unsuitable for a song lyric but it does bring you immediately to a point of poignancy; and I think that is what you were aiming for.
"If my life was a river You would be the rain Every drop of you A part of me"
I like this because it implies that the sustenance provided by the loved one is the "force" in your life. So rain falls but a river directs the flow and becomes a force. It would be another way of saying that "without you, I could accomplish nothing. And that might be true of a loved one or if you are extending this to Praise and Worship.
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
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Beautiful song. Well done you two. I don't see anything wrong with this----
"I love you more Than an eagle loves to fly"
To me, it's not the "action" of the eagle in flying that's being compared, it's the "love" of something. I think sometimes, because we're songwriters, we dig "too" deep into a song, where the average listener won't even think about that particular point. Wy
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I'm curious to now if Bill gave this to his wife yet and her reaction?? It had to be wonderful!
Best and newsy, Lynn Mornin' Lynn, Yes played it for her on her birthday and she loved it Thanks for the listen and kind words Bill
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Good deal Bill,
what a great gift. and i'll bet she understands how much work you and Kaley put into this...
(tell the missus happy birthday, if i'm not too late.)
-cheers -steve
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Hi Again Bill and Kaley Gotta say a return listen and I like this even more than the first time...I would agree with you Bill that the bridge can be tweeked up a notch and the only thing I'd take down on the percussion in the high hat/or tamborine meter beat....otherwise I think it is just right. Love it guys and gals.... jm Hi J.M. Thanks for the listen and comments Just uploaded the revised version. He went down a tad on the percussion and brought out the bridge a little better. Regards Bill
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"I'm soaring like an eagle And baby you're the breeze"
Isn't that just saying, "you are the wind beneath my wings"
"I love you more Than an eagle loves to fly"
I have a bit a problem with this because it is oblique. You have to translate the comparison and ask yourself, "How much does an Eagle like to fly" and even if the answer is "A lot", then you still have to get past the fact that you have compared how much you love someone with an action instead of a feeling or a thing. My wife likes to tease our kids with lines like, "I love you more than Cheerios" or "I love you more than dirt". They laugh because they know she is teasing. Of course you have heard the phrase, "I love you more than Life itself". It is a common phrase and unsuitable for a song lyric but it does bring you immediately to a point of poignancy; and I think that is what you were aiming for.
"If my life was a river You would be the rain Every drop of you A part of me"
I like this because it implies that the sustenance provided by the loved one is the "force" in your life. So rain falls but a river directs the flow and becomes a force. It would be another way of saying that "without you, I could accomplish nothing. And that might be true of a loved one or if you are extending this to Praise and Worship. Mornin' Sam, Thanks for the visit and feedback Yes "I'm soaring like an eagle and baby you're the breeze" is just another way to say "you are the wind beneath my wings" Show me something that hasn't been said in a hundred different ways and I'll show you something not worth saying Not sure how the eagle feels about flying but I think most people would assume he loves being able to do it. Yes I like the river/rain much better also and thats why I used it in V-2. Regards Bill
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Beautiful song. Well done you two. I don't see anything wrong with this----
"I love you more Than an eagle loves to fly"
To me, it's not the "action" of the eagle in flying that's being compared, it's the "love" of something. I think sometimes, because we're songwriters, we dig "too" deep into a song, where the average listener won't even think about that particular point. Wy Mornin' Wy, Thanks for the listen Happy you enjoyed Yes most listeners will think about how they feel about flying. Who knows what eagle feels, he sure looks like he enjoy's being up there. Regards Bill
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Good deal Bill, what a great gift. and i'll bet she understands how much work you and Kaley put into this... (tell the missus happy birthday, if i'm not too late.) -cheers -steve Thanks Steve Yeah just a little late it was the 18th. Take care that baby girl needs you to come home in one piece. Praying for you guy's Bill
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Bill & Kaley,
So, you had to go and set the bar this igh for the rest of us! Well, thanks a bunch!
Seriously, this is very, very nicely done. There really isn't a thing I would change. The fact that a few of the written words vary a bit from the vocal isn;t uncommon. Vocalist often do impromptu, minor tweaks as they sing. It's kind of optional if you want to change the lyric to match exactly or not.
And that is quite a nice demo they did for you. Delighted to hear that Bill's wife liked it. Good job on everything!
Al
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Hi Lynn I was tickled that Bill's wife loved it... thanks gal...It's been revised on both Bill's and my soundclick site... with some minor tweaks...Thanks so much for the encouragement on this H, Kaley ************************** Thanks Joice Gal... I'm glad you liked this ...If you want take a listen at either site... Bill heard a piano run that he really loved...and had that brought up front a bit more...and percussion toned down a bit... Both of us were happy with Magic Shack..and glad Rebecca (and Moker) have been recommending them. They truly were great to work with gal... Accomodating, even with a tour schedule...etc. You take good care up there in the northern lands.... kk ********************************************** Hi Sam... :):) thanks for coming by...and for your thoughts..!!! You put a lot of time and effort..into thinking about the mechanics and I appreciate hearing how you think...Thanks for offering up your opinion and explaining why you feel the way you do. To me...the words were inspiring and they breathed... I could feel them..... Hugs to you... Kaley Love You More Revised Version...week/8/26 http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=8404Children's Music Here: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=6469 Wyman and Kaley's Andy & Friends CD Here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg
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Hey Bill and Kaley...
I LOVE THIS!!! That's all I have to say about it!! Well, almost. If some man wrote this for me I would melt.
Hugs to you both, Bobbie
They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you. Gallup 'n Dawg Music
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Hey guys, This is simply beautiful. I hope my husband writes me a song like this some day. But, in his defense, he's always wonderful and he does sing to me a lot! Who was this singer? He's got a gorgeous voice! It was like country velvet.
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Howdy,
Kept meaning to come back to give this some solid attention...now my mind is mush at 1:30 am-ish, and I must wait until tomorrow to listen with fresh ears.
I'm very excited to hear it, as the reviews have been oustanding!!
HAve a good night, Beth
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B.... I'm glad you got to both look and listen... Thanks!!!... tickled you liked it.... Hugs....to you this after... kk Steve... I'm glad it was a treat for Bill's wife.... We did work hard on this..Bill was refining his lyrics and stepping back from them...and I lived at the piano willingly .(.which doesn't feel like work to me)....but finding the notes on the piano...from what I hear in my head takes me quite a while most songs. Once I learn how to edit wrong notes out...I think my time will be reduced...a great deal I spoke with Sunny gal (Board One) via e's last night... and I'll post or link..or pull up.. some of her military songs...over on board one later today.... She was so happy to hear that you were serving our country...as she has someone who she cares for serving also. She would be delighted if you'd take a look....and listen...I need to do some checking for her...on whether her songs are still playing...etc...but she had many super lyrics. She cannot listen herself...via web tv...but will as soon as she can. She sends her regards... Best... Kaley Love You More Revised Version...week/8/26 http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=8404Children's Music Here: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=6469 Wyman and Kaley's Andy & Friends CD Here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg
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Howdi Al... Hope you are starting to feel better...... !!.. and very glad you liked this. Thanks for letting us know.... You take care and feel better soon... Best...w/hugs.... Kaley Afternoon Bobbie .... I believe Susan must be very special... Thanks for your thoughts gal....Really glad you enjoyed this... Hugs.. and thanks..... Kaley Hi Heidi Gal..thanks so much for stopping by and telling us you liked this... Really really appreciate it. ..The vocalist is Dennis Parker..from Magic Shack... You'll hear him on several of Moker's and/or Rebecca Peaden's demos.... Hugs to you this afternoon Kaley Hi Beth....:) Thanks for stopping by and looking.....Isn't that true about the 1:30 a.m. mush mind..(OR at least mine turns to that....No comment, Wy, required about the state of my mind I say enough !!!!! )..... Hope you will stop by and listen if you can.... Hugs y'all... Kaley Love You More Revised Version...week/8/26 http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=8404Children's Music Here: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=6469 Wyman and Kaley's Andy & Friends CD Here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,535 Likes: 29
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,535 Likes: 29 |
Top drawer and ready to go Kels. I too think that rain\river part is magic....and you can get absolutely lost in this song....which is a great thing.
So kudos and applause to you both, and yes, pitching time...directly to Barbara Cloyd....
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386 |
Hey B&K,
First off, Bill, your wife is going to FLIP....especially when she hears this magical song played on the radio, at all this coming season's weddings, etc.
And Kaley, the music is wonderful....both the lyrics and the orchestration truly sweep you away.
I'm so pleased to have been privy to the pre-pitching listening sessions.
Thanks so much for sharing, and good luck. It makes me think of Curtis Stigers...do you know him? "Never Saw a Miracle"? You might go listen to it, has a similar flavor...
Beth
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,963
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,963 |
Hey Bill & Kaley!
This is lovely! Great lyric with a wonderful accompaniment!
Charlann
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7 |
Hi JPF Just wanted to thank everyone for listening and commenting on MY song. A special thanks and all my love to Bill for writing such a loving lyric for me and to Kaley Willow for creating such a beautiful melody that fits the words so perfectly. Also Jason, Dennis and everyone at Magic Shack for putting everything together so eloquently. I get misty eyed every time I listen, my best birthday present ever and I’ll treasure it always. Thank You All Susan Cooper
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788 |
Hi Susan,
So nice to meet you. You are the envy of every woman (in a good way). Your wonderful husband gave you a beautiful gift from his heart, not from a department store. You are blessed with the love of a man and that man is also your husband! I get misty hearing that song too! Happy Belated Birthday!
Best, Lynn
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,870
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,870 |
Too many late nights with the sound turned off.... but I finally got a chance to listen to this one this morning.... one word about sums it up ..............
WOW!!!
this is absolutely beautiful! I could hear so very many people singing this.... I can also hear it sung at every 25, 30, 40, 50, year anniversary party! (the whole room would be misty-eyed)
extremely well done you two!
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,697
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,697 |
Kaley and Bill,
When I read the lyrics sheet first, I thought it could be the most beautiful song I've heard in years when set to music.
Well, today I listened to all of your versions of it. To say that it did not disappoint would be putting it mildly. I listened to it over and over and loved it more each time. I might say that your demo artist is superb and that sure added to it. When I heard the song each time, the tears just flowed from the beauty of both the lyrics and a perfectly matched melody. What a writing team you are!! I wish I could find someone to collaborate with that good at melody writing. I would walk, don't run to the gatekeepers any way you can get to them. We need more emotionally beautiful songs like this one. Thanks for giving me the pleasure of listening.
Sincerely,
Janice Hopkins
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240 |
Dear Janice....very nice to meet you!!!... Thank you.... I am so glad you loved both the lyrics...and the melody and the whole song... Thanks so very much..... and for the compliment...about writing with a melody writer such as me... I just pray God will continue the gift...cause i believe that's what it has to be...there's no other possible explanation Thanks Janice... best to you with hugs Kaley
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